During the final semester of this school year, I was struggling with my mental health. I had started to get a hold of it and myself until COVID 19 hit. At first, I was doing alright, spending more time with my horses, family, and boyfriend. However, that all changed rather fast. I could feel myself becoming harder on myself, sad more often than not, and I never felt worthy or good enough. I was struggling to wake up most days, it felt impossible to get motivated to do any work for my work term and I knew I was spiraling. I felt so alone and like I was doomed to feel this way forever. I stopped painting, which is the thing I love to do the most. It was not until I hit rock bottom that I knew I had to do something to turn my life around. I started working out, training my horse for barrel racing, and basically just do things that took my mind off things and let me clear my head. I will be honest, my relationship with designing and art is still not the greatest. But I am pushing myself to still do my best work for my clients. Once I am done my work term I want to focus on creating some art that I want to create, How I want to create it, and to just find myself and fall in love with art again. This summer has not been easy and I still struggle most days. But I am doing the best I can to make it to the finish line of my work term. Just take one day at a time and you will make it.
June 14, 2020